So here a bit more than 24 hours after the
Danish Championship in RR, am I stuck with a annoying feeling off something is
not right… I know that the legendary Pøt Mølle and I don’t get along, but I had
hoped for more, and Saturday evening I could stop thinking on what went wrong!
Or if something did went wrong…! The truth is I didn’t have any expectations,
no hope just fears…. Even though it irritates me so much when I’m not cable of
performing the way I would like to, and even though the little voice in my
head, tries to explain to me why things at the moment on the bike are going
like Sh.. Mentally I can cope with many things, but it hits with 110% when
riding doesn’t go well.
At the moment I find it hard to get motivated
for racing, and I miss having that extra push/tickling when you are racing at
your fullest, but most off all I miss the feeling of being strong on the bike!
I miss the feeling of racing at your max. I miss my confidence on my road bike.
I just miss the days when I felt good.
I always feel a bite lost and discouraged ,
when I’m returning home after a weekend packed with input. I think I’m a “addicted” to social life and
not just being me all the time. I hate coming home although home now feels more
like a home.
I’m no “out at home is best”, out is always
better then returning home… ALWAYS!
Because off the few laps I managed to do at the DM course saturday, before I gave up (I know stupid, but sometimes you do stupid things.) Trust me I have been beating my self many times since...!
Hi Nikoline
Don't beat yourself up. It is one race and what you're experiencing is something we've all experienced. You are not your bike racing. This is something you do for fun because you love it. Don't let it beat you up. Take a few days to chill out and then get out for a nice long ride - explore your favourite training routes and just enjoy the bike. There are lots more races in your future.
take care vicki