So just because the blog has been then just silent,
it dosen’t mean that nothing have happen in my life, on the other hand, there
has been almost too much.
But all these changes and no time for
reflection and writing has been good. To cut to the bone, after ca. 4 years of
relationship Jacob and I split. No matter what it’s never easy breaking up with
some one, and it takes so much time and energy, even though I was relatively
settled with the matter.
Something happen with me in Belgium, I don’t
know what… I can’t put a finger on it, but when I returned to my “home” in
Denmark, something was changed, and I couldn’t feel at home in what use to be
my home. It was very frustrating and I spent a lot of time crying and trying to
figure out what had happen.
I think I changed – mentally I grew, got older,
more mature but most off all more independent, and I properly need it... There’s
nothing like 6 months abroad, which helps you think, which pushes you to get
perspective on your life, your dreams and your desires.
These 6 months of “separation” and me really
not wanted to go back, was just too much for what we could handled as a couple.
There are always two side of a story, and this is my version, and it may not be
the entire truth or the correct version, but this is my point of view… There is no-one to blame, but life goes on, and
I’m convinced that I took the right decision, the last time I can remember I
have been this happy, most have been my time in Belgium. No stress, no stomach
pain, no burden on my shoulders, just happiness. I might have lost a friend or two on facebook,
but I’ll manage J
I got my own apartment the 1. of June, and
after some trips to IKEA (you gotta start somewhere, I only had one day to pack
all my belongings) my apartment now feels like HOME, which is a place I would
like to be, and where I feel at home.
The future looks good, at the person, which for
a few months ago, never wanted to go back to university is considering her
options regarding which one to apply for. Should I stay in Odense, or move to
another city… Who knows J but for now I’m training for yet another cyclo
cross season, and working full time. I still don’t know how many races and
which one I will be able to do this year, but I’ll do my best to get down to
Belgium (my second home) and race as many as I can.
All the best
Nikoline
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comments
After some bumpy days, I'm back to me again. It's nice! My little black notebook has been my faithful companion, when I needed to give my self space. At times I feel very rootless, and as I has mentioned before I'm having difficulties finding home - a place to belong. I like my apartment, and it feels more like home than what I shared with my x, but I don't feel settled or resident. 
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